Back to Better: Slow Go, But it is Going!

Healing from back surgery is a very long and tiring process.  And I am only 3 weeks into it.  It is also almost (I say almost because my house is always jumping with something!) boring.  I get a lot (a lot by my standards) of “just me“ time laying in bed, reading and day dreaming or actually dreaming when I doze off.  Since my children were born “just me” time had seized to exist.  Even now as I am healing my children spend quite a bit of time in bed with me...in and out in and out...and I spend quite a bit of time going in and out of rooms checking in on them and who ever is here helping.  So even though my “me time” is really just an hour here or there, if all goes well it is more than I have had in quite sometime!  Point is I can’t do much of anything but read, daydream, think, play on the internet, watch movies or TV.  I like to do these things but get bored of them quickly.  There is so much I would rather be doing but am not able to do at this time because of the surgery and all the strict rules that come with the healing process.  The healing process that I am just now getting the hang of...I really hope it is not too late that I am just now getting the right amounts of rest, less stress, less trying to do things i shouldn’t, less breaking the rules “just this once”......  I wanted to follow the doctors orders to a T but even more listen to my own body.  I was determined to do everything just perfect and be perfect in the end for doing so.  Better late than never.  The last few days I have been bored in just the right amounts so I am back on track.  I forgot to take one of my many pain pills one day this week and the pain was horrendous!!!  It scared me right into my new way of boredom! There was also a scare this week that I was going to have to make it through a night without my pain meds because I forgot to call in on time to get my refill -thank my lucky stars I didn’t have to...I was near tears just thinking of the pain I would be in.  So heres to healing, cheers!

Slow Go, But it is Going!

Healing from back surgery is a very long and tiring process.  And I am only 3 weeks into it.  It is also almost (I say almost because my house is always jumping with something!) boring.  I get a lot (a lot by my standards) of “just me“ time laying in bed, reading and day dreaming or actually dreaming when I doze off.  Since my children were born “just me” time had seized to exist.  Even now as I am healing my children spend quite a bit of time in bed with me...in and out in and out...and I spend quite a bit of time going in and out of rooms checking in on them and who ever is here helping.  So even though my “me time” is really just an hour here or there, if all goes well it is more than I have had in quite sometime!  Point is I can’t do much of anything but read, daydream, think, play on the internet, watch movies or TV.  I like to do these things but get bored of them quickly.  There is so much I would rather be doing but am not able to do at this time because of the surgery and all the strict rules that come with the healing process.  The healing process that I am just now getting the hang of...I really hope it is not too late that I am just now getting the right amounts of rest, less stress, less trying to do things i shouldn’t, less breaking the rules “just this once”......  I wanted to follow the doctors orders to a T but even more listen to my own body.  I was determined to do everything just perfect and be perfect in the end for doing so.  Better late than never.  The last few days I have been bored in just the right amounts so I am back on track.  I forgot to take one of my many pain pills one day this week and the pain was horrendous!!!  It scared me right into my new way of boredom! There was also a scare this week that I was going to have to make it through a night without my pain meds because I forgot to call in on time to get my refill -thank my lucky stars I didn’t have to...I was near tears just thinking of the pain I would be in.  So heres to healing, cheers! 

Go to Bed, NOW!

To be completely honest with myself I am not resting enough.  In order for my body to heal I need to get the right amounts of sleep and rest so new healthy cells can form and my body can begin to mend itself and new bone can form.

There are a few reasons I am not getting enough z’s.  One: my pain meds have a side effect of keeping me awake.  Two: I am not laying down when I know I should.  When my body says “Hey, I am tired lets go lay down for a bit”, I must admit I ignore it.  I want to keep doing things or stay close to the kids just to watch them discover or listen to their funny stories.  Three: Sometimes I want to go get some unnecessary errands done.  Four: I want to visit with the company that has come to help and feel guilty as I watch them clean my house. (Thank you!!!!!)

The thing is before my surgery I was always able to just keep pushing myself, it was a way of life.  So I need to make a new way of life, which is always hard to do.

As for how I am doing as far as healing - I think pretty good.  I am not in as much pain, as long as I stay on top of the meds.  I am a thousand times better than last week.  I am able to move myself around my bed without all the moaning and wincing.  The headaches are totally gone.  I still wake in the middle of the night a few times in major pain and need to take my pain and sleeping meds. 

I want to make a full recovery and that is why I am being honest with myself about the resting part.  I am going to schedule rest time just like I schedule my walks.  I only have this one chance to heal and I need it to work.  So those of you in charge keep yelling at me to get in bed!!!

The Hospital

The morning we left I was calmer than I thought I would be.  We finished packing I took my shower with my special soap and headed out the door after a million and one kisses between my daughter and myself!  Kissed my mom and headed out.

When we arrived the nerves set in.  There was nurses and doctors coming in and out of the room testing this and that.  Then I was put in my gown and rolled to the “waiting area.”  When my doctor arrived we said our hellos went over a few things and the anesthesiologist gave me my IV.  I had tears in my eyes and kissed my husband goodbye.  Then just like that I woke up in the recovery room.  I was crying in pain while they flipped me all over the bed doing x-rays.  It was scary because I woke up to what felt like chaos or the specimen of an alien experiment.

I was then rolled up into my room where my husband was fast asleep waiting for me.  I don’t think he was too nervous as he was so out of it he didn’t even wake up when the nurses and doctors rolled me in!  One nurse said “wow we didn’t even put him out!”  That’s my man...he is an excellent sleeper.

The whole hospital stay is somewhat a blur.  I was heavily medicated and in and out of consciousness quite a bit.  The first night was nothing short of hell.  The pain meds they had me on were not lasting long enough and they were unwilling to give me more in fear they would kill me.  At one point I was crying and trembling in pain holding on to the side of the bed asking them to please give me anything even if it did kill me.  The pain was beyond painful, beyond words that could describe it.  In the morning my doctor came in my room, where I was lying in tears and jerking in pain he looked at me and said “this is not right we cannot let her be this way.”  He ordered something stronger than morphine, I can’t remember what its name is, they put it in my IV and relief came.  It left quickly and so began the game of trying to keep me from falling to the lowest lows of pain.  It was a game that went on almost the whole time I was there.  I gave birth to my children without the use of pain medication and I  thought that was the worst pain I had and would ever be through.  Giving birth was cake compared to this.

On the plus side my family and friends came and visited 24 hours a day and cared for me through all the ruff patches.  I had nurses that were just amazing.  My OT was wonderful and so was my PT.  Everyone was great and everyone was trying their damnedest to help me get better.  My doctor apologized for the trouble I had and the pain I was in but how could he have foreseen that.  He eventually got my pain under control and relieved me of my headaches. Now I am healing!!!!!!! Healing not just taking meds to cover the pain.  I am on meds to help with the pain as I heal and that is is huge difference!