Update

So it has been a long time since I checked in here.
I know I wrote in here somewhere that often people start things like this and never finish them because they get better and go back to living. I wish I could say that was my truth and in some ways it is. Honestly my lack of updating the blog is because I was better enough for my help to leave and I needed to go back to my full time job, being CEO of the family.  When I am not being mom I am working on the Art Studio I run with my mom or working on completing pieces of art.  There is very little down time in my life so naturally the first things to be put to the side are the unnecessaries.  I am beginning to wonder if this little blog is a necessary for myself though.  I need a place I can look back and have a visual record of what I did and how it affected my back.  There has been many ups and many downs since I last visited the blog world and perhaps if I had kept up with the blog and been honest,  I wouldn't wonder why my back aches all day.
I do too much and I don't do enough PT. I need to find more time to take care of myself in order for this surgery to help.   I knew going into this from the very beginning that the surgery was not a cure all, it was a step, a big one, but if I wanted to get to the end of the tunnel I was going to have to commit myself.  I need to learn to stop and do my exercises, how to say no, how to let go. I want to do everything, I want to do it all for everyone, for myself, but in the end I am hurting myself. My back hurts all the time and I am still on lots of pain pills and still in pain.  I am not sure where I would say I am with things, maybe feeling like I did right before surgery, in a lot a pain enough to get my back ripped open, bone ground up and removed, bolts, screws and cages put in. I don't want to feel like this I want to feel better. I am getting back on track today, I am going clean up my act, get my exercises back in and stop doing things that highly aggravate my back.  Here I go on my way to better!

A Long Break ...but not in my Back!

I REALLY wanted to make this blog for the person out there searching for a recovery story from spinal fusion.  I apologize that I let such a big gap go between updates, to you, out there in the Internet land looking as I was night after night for someones record of their journey after their spine had been fused.
All is not lost because this is A LONG recovery.  So I am still in the midst of it and have much to tell you.  I had my 8 week post op appointment last week.  I am FUSING,  I AM GROWING NEW BONE!  This is excellent news the best I have heard since the surgery.  It means that much of what I feared is not happening.  I was so afraid to have the surgery and not have a good outcome.  I was given an 85% or more chance of feeling much better after the surgery.  That is a 15% chance of not feeling better or feeling worse.  That is a big chance to take but I did.   Don't get me wrong I still am in pain.  A lot of pain and I am on a lot of medications for the pain.  But my bone is fusing which means I may be out of this pain and off of the meds in the near future.
My doctor said the first two months are hell, the second 2 months are working your way out of hell and the last 2 months are getting back to where I was prior to surgery and much better.  It is a long process a process that is hard both physically and emotionally. Total recovery is up to a year and a half at which point you should be feeling much better than you did prior the surgery.  It is a long journey but not as long as a life time of living in debilitating pain. It is a journey that you need lots of help with.  I have been lucky enough to have my wonderful family rally together and help me but more importantly help my children.
Before I sign off for the night.  I want to let you know how VERY hard this is mentally.  You will not be able to do much.  You must depend on others for the simplest of things and the hardest and all that lies in between.  It is not only hard on you but the loved ones around you.  They take on so much for you physically and mentally.  Giving up their own lives to help you with yours.  I will write more next time about this subject because I cannot stress enough that you need to prepare yourself prior to the surgery for the mental strength you will need afterwards.

Good Night,
Reba

Update and Bedtime

I know I have not updated in awhile and I apologize!  And this will be quick as I am wrapping up the day and SO ready for bed.  Things are going good. I am basically free of all walking aids.  I am up to mile walks, usually twice a day.  I no longer need as many naps and as much down time.  Although I still need them just not as much.  There have been some bad days and a few really painful moments that quite frankly scared the hell out of me.  But we got through them and there are less and less of those moments.  I still tire very easily and perhaps over do it to often.  I am going to update again with more detail.  I wanted this to be a resource for someone about to or considering the surgery so I am going to documents some more details very soon.

Good night to all!

Back to Better: Slow Go, But it is Going!

Healing from back surgery is a very long and tiring process.  And I am only 3 weeks into it.  It is also almost (I say almost because my house is always jumping with something!) boring.  I get a lot (a lot by my standards) of “just me“ time laying in bed, reading and day dreaming or actually dreaming when I doze off.  Since my children were born “just me” time had seized to exist.  Even now as I am healing my children spend quite a bit of time in bed with me...in and out in and out...and I spend quite a bit of time going in and out of rooms checking in on them and who ever is here helping.  So even though my “me time” is really just an hour here or there, if all goes well it is more than I have had in quite sometime!  Point is I can’t do much of anything but read, daydream, think, play on the internet, watch movies or TV.  I like to do these things but get bored of them quickly.  There is so much I would rather be doing but am not able to do at this time because of the surgery and all the strict rules that come with the healing process.  The healing process that I am just now getting the hang of...I really hope it is not too late that I am just now getting the right amounts of rest, less stress, less trying to do things i shouldn’t, less breaking the rules “just this once”......  I wanted to follow the doctors orders to a T but even more listen to my own body.  I was determined to do everything just perfect and be perfect in the end for doing so.  Better late than never.  The last few days I have been bored in just the right amounts so I am back on track.  I forgot to take one of my many pain pills one day this week and the pain was horrendous!!!  It scared me right into my new way of boredom! There was also a scare this week that I was going to have to make it through a night without my pain meds because I forgot to call in on time to get my refill -thank my lucky stars I didn’t have to...I was near tears just thinking of the pain I would be in.  So heres to healing, cheers!

Slow Go, But it is Going!

Healing from back surgery is a very long and tiring process.  And I am only 3 weeks into it.  It is also almost (I say almost because my house is always jumping with something!) boring.  I get a lot (a lot by my standards) of “just me“ time laying in bed, reading and day dreaming or actually dreaming when I doze off.  Since my children were born “just me” time had seized to exist.  Even now as I am healing my children spend quite a bit of time in bed with me...in and out in and out...and I spend quite a bit of time going in and out of rooms checking in on them and who ever is here helping.  So even though my “me time” is really just an hour here or there, if all goes well it is more than I have had in quite sometime!  Point is I can’t do much of anything but read, daydream, think, play on the internet, watch movies or TV.  I like to do these things but get bored of them quickly.  There is so much I would rather be doing but am not able to do at this time because of the surgery and all the strict rules that come with the healing process.  The healing process that I am just now getting the hang of...I really hope it is not too late that I am just now getting the right amounts of rest, less stress, less trying to do things i shouldn’t, less breaking the rules “just this once”......  I wanted to follow the doctors orders to a T but even more listen to my own body.  I was determined to do everything just perfect and be perfect in the end for doing so.  Better late than never.  The last few days I have been bored in just the right amounts so I am back on track.  I forgot to take one of my many pain pills one day this week and the pain was horrendous!!!  It scared me right into my new way of boredom! There was also a scare this week that I was going to have to make it through a night without my pain meds because I forgot to call in on time to get my refill -thank my lucky stars I didn’t have to...I was near tears just thinking of the pain I would be in.  So heres to healing, cheers! 

Go to Bed, NOW!

To be completely honest with myself I am not resting enough.  In order for my body to heal I need to get the right amounts of sleep and rest so new healthy cells can form and my body can begin to mend itself and new bone can form.

There are a few reasons I am not getting enough z’s.  One: my pain meds have a side effect of keeping me awake.  Two: I am not laying down when I know I should.  When my body says “Hey, I am tired lets go lay down for a bit”, I must admit I ignore it.  I want to keep doing things or stay close to the kids just to watch them discover or listen to their funny stories.  Three: Sometimes I want to go get some unnecessary errands done.  Four: I want to visit with the company that has come to help and feel guilty as I watch them clean my house. (Thank you!!!!!)

The thing is before my surgery I was always able to just keep pushing myself, it was a way of life.  So I need to make a new way of life, which is always hard to do.

As for how I am doing as far as healing - I think pretty good.  I am not in as much pain, as long as I stay on top of the meds.  I am a thousand times better than last week.  I am able to move myself around my bed without all the moaning and wincing.  The headaches are totally gone.  I still wake in the middle of the night a few times in major pain and need to take my pain and sleeping meds. 

I want to make a full recovery and that is why I am being honest with myself about the resting part.  I am going to schedule rest time just like I schedule my walks.  I only have this one chance to heal and I need it to work.  So those of you in charge keep yelling at me to get in bed!!!

You look Human!

Today I had my first official post op appointment with my doctor.  He said and I quote 

“You look human!”.  He was very happy with my progress so far and apologized that I had to suffer so much in the beginning.  He wants me to continue my walks and he wants me to continue to take care of myself and let others care for me.

My mother and husband were concerned that I was doing too much. Of course my mom brought that up to the doctor.  He said in a way they were right and in a way I was.  My husband and mom thought I should be taking my 3 walks a day and spending the rest in bed.  I take my 3 walks a day but do not spend the rest of the day in bed.  I spend some time in the bed but I mosey around the house and yard watching my little angels play and discover.  I do some school with them and steal hugs and kisses left and right! And maybe I boss my husband around a little too much...it is hard just being able to watch! ....I am sorry!

Doc said I need to find a happy medium between the two. That I did just have spinal fusion 13 days ago and I need to spend a little less time on my feet but by no means need to be in bed the whole day.  So that is what I will do!  Today my sister-in-law came and played with the kids and I did spend quite a bit of time sleeping!  I was up and about too much yesterday and my body was telling me to take it easy I didn’t listen yesterday, but today I did.  My body said “hey, go lay down I am tired and I need rest to heal.”  So I put my head to my pillow and my little hearts in the hands of my sis-in -law and got some good rest.